"Maybe I'm disturbing. Perhaps I should just keep quiet and move on.", her little mind echoed and her head nodded agreeably. Her fingers quickly typed him a text. "This will be the last message and I don't want to be a nag to anyone. Life is too short to worry for a man who doesn't have time for his lady." She realized that things had been very quiet lately and she tried asking but unfortunately it's just not working the way normal relationships work.
Is she expecting too much? "Well, certainly NO!", her heart almost screamed mad. "Well, not at all.", she said again, this time calmly but firmly. "Why shouldn't there be expectations? Everyone have expectations especially when it comes to relationship. It is only fair to have expectations because otherwise there is not going to be anything to look forward", she challenged herself. Certainly, it is a lie or denial when one says one has no expectations or whatsoever in a relationship. "Bullshit!!!", she smiled at herself, "State of denial, no expectations it seems. Yeah right!". Again she affirmed "Every relationship has expectations." Everything and anything is acceptable, as long as it is within ones capacity and limit.
Is it the distance? She quickly worked out the formula for distance. It involves time and velocity. Even if one of the variable slows down, the whole process of communication becomes snail pace."Is it time? Distance or velocity?", she gave up.
Perhaps so but again, there are so many who maintain a healthy long distance relationship. Even she was in one such before and it had lots communication.Why do people seem to take it granted when it comes to communicating to their loved ones but could talk rocket science to the world!!
"Ego perhaps? What ego and why ego with the one you love? ", her heart mocked at her. She giggled, because she knew how much loss EGO could bring. She herself had almost lost it all due to her own super bubble bursting ego. However, she survived, thanks for a good friend!
A relationship requires some degree of commitment from both parties especially when it is long distance. Time is crucial, essential and need to be well managed between the two so that the circuit doesn't break.
A relationship is not just within one person's efforts. It has to be of collective effort. Perhaps it is just the individual themselves, initiative and most of all determination.
She tried asking directly. She wondered how many times more to ask. She told once and then twice. Still there didn't seem like to have any changes at all. It only gotten more quiet. Maybe it was a mistake she asked so directly. Now she decided she would keep mum and let it take it's own course.
She looked out of her window, in deep thoughts with a mug of hot tea in her hand. She sipped it slowly, didn't realize it was burning hot and burnt her lips slightly. It didn't bother her much because at the moment it is her heart that is burning. She was determined to take one step at a time and not to be frozen in time. She had come a long way. Her matured heart knows very well what she needs in a relationship.
Her heart is not exactly perfect, it has stitches and patches too, but she is determined not to let those come in between her happiness. Well, end of the day, it takes two hands to clap. It takes two hearts to move on and it takes two to communicate!
Maybe this is the best solution she could find. A solution that will not hurt her already hurt heart. A solution that would keep her looking forward for more in life. A strong gush of wind blew on her face. Instantly brought her mind to the present. Her lips curved upwards, slowly she closed the window and reached for the TV remote. "Hmmm Tom and Jerry cartoon", she smiled, perhaps some relationship is all about that!!